The Miracle Machine

Swedish scientists have developed what will immediately be accepted the world over as the most incredible invention in the history of humanity. Dubbed “The Miracle Machine” the device can potentially solve every single problem, conflict and conundrum on planet earth or beyond.

On such global conflicts as religious/cultural strife, resource scarcity, poverty, disease—all of which underlie international hostilities—the EQAO 8888 Harmonizer can bring immediate and lasting results. Likewise, the Harmonizer can resolve interpersonal conflicts and individual troubles.

The Harmonizer requires only one ingredient to enable its miraculous powers to take effect: the mutual agreement of all parties about whom any particular conflict, problem or crises affects. The agreement that is necessary is not over what the solution may eventually be, as the Harmonizer will take care of that with 100% effectiveness. No, the agreement is solely one of mutual will and mutual decision to hand the problem over to the Harmonizer for resolution.

“This is a great day for humanity,” said Kaj Sigridsson who directed the project funded by the Swedish government. The Swedish delegation’s first test was the ongoing slaughter in Darfur. Over 20 different factions had to be convinced to sign the dispute over to the Harmonizer. Rebel leader Joseph Mahhaali was typical: “I laugh and said, ‘why not, we can kill tomorrow’ so I give machine our problem today.”

Little did anyone realize just how successful the Harmonizer would prove to be. Instantly the warring parties dropped their arms. Soldiers were reported standing in confusion right where they stood in their killing field, bewildered about why they were there and what they were doing. Many are undergoing counseling and treatment in the aftermath of the shock of learning what they had done over the last few years. Peace, production and progress have replaced the fear-induced hate.

What was once a land of scarcity became overnight one of abundance as they all discovered the magic of sharing, an occurrence that grabbed the attention of third world leaders. Lesotho Prime Minister Mugambe Makakole echoed third world sentiment; “We are so grateful for the Harmonizer and are ready to use it for our mutual benefit.”

However, not everybody greeted the Good News of the Harmonizer’s capabilities with the solid confidence and optimism its founders had hoped for. British PM Harold Fitzugh spoke for many of the G-8 countries: “This could be great news indeed for conflict resolution, but we’ll have to gauge its effectiveness on smaller affairs to see if it stands the test of time.”

Margaret O’Bannon, spokesman for United States President Vesper Scelero, said that while the Harmonizer looks promising “We will need to see what we’d have to sacrifice vis-à-vis other nations in order to determine how it will benefit our long term interests.”

Swedish Prime Minister Nils von Lundeberg was incredulous over the west’s skepticism: “The Miracle Machine WORKS! All that any nation, any person, any entity need do is agree to let it do its job of bringing harmony where there’s discord, peace where war, plenty where need, joy where gloom and it will achieve it. How can they not see this and accept its gift—a gift through the hands of man, but a gift from God who used those hands I am sure.”

The Harmonizer continues to work wonders for the many who have petitioned its use. Unfortunately some of the world’s most rancid lesions fester unabated while doubt and cynicism seemingly paralyze the hearts and minds of its most powerful players.

On Tubby

I love Tubby Smith. Never have I known a person of such celebrity with his genuine grace and humanity. I had the privilege of knowing him through our (Dawahare's clothing stores) affiliation with the University as the official clothier of the coaches. We met upon his arrival, and I got to meet with him on a number of occasions. My fondest such meeting was at his office just before the NCAA tournament his storied first year. I took him a gift of SIX ties saying, “here coach, now you’ll need six for this tournament.”

He quizzically smiled and kind of looked at me sideways as he said with a chuckle, “now don’t do that to me.” Little did either of us know that he’d be leading that ’98 team to the National Championship. [And don’t listen to that utter hogwash “but he won with Pitino’s players.” To a man each of those players said they wanted to win it for Tubby. I truly don’t believe Rick Pitino would have won with that team].

Tubby obviously won a lot of hearts and minds that year, and beyond, with very good teams that twice just barely missed the final four. With SEC dominance, TWO number one seeds in 2004 and 2005, a humble personality and bottomless generosity he was a winner both on and off the court

Yet recruiting deficiencies dogged him the last few years. His very first year of recruiting held a foreboding experience: the nation’s top center, John Stewart, died before he was to enter school. Tubby handled that with class, just as he did everything, by having the family come down for a memorial game in his John’s honor—it was very touching.

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After the 2005 season, missing yet another Final Four by suffering a heartbreaking double OT loss to Michigan State, it got bumpier. Tubby had only one really good (on paper) recruiting class in four years—this year’s juniors—but they turned out to be a bad fit or plain over-rated. Two of them wanted to go pro (Randolph Morris and Rajon Rondo, a third tried to transfer (Joe Crawford). The two classes ahead of them lacked the kind of Prince or Bogans talent Kentucky needed, and the sophomore class is non-existent, the only player (Jared Carter) injured for the season.

Personally I would like to have asked:

1) "What's happened with recruiting? Not only the problems mentioned above but also the players that stay don't seem to exhibit true love and teamwork like your earlier teams. There was "team turmoil" and other inter-player issues about every year."

2) “Why have the teams been so out of sync on offense the last few years. No screens, no pick-and-rolls or backdoor cuts, errant passes, incessant dribbling. Your earlier teams were masters at great teamwork offense. Is the current failure a function of your coaching or that of your assistants--or is it just a lack of talent? And why don’t we guard the three like we used to?”

It’s academic now, but there remains an unresolved issue: the national media’s inaccurate portrait of the Kentucky fan base. We are painted as the cause for Tubby’s departure, as being ungrateful, impossible-to-please fans with highly mis-placed priorities.

The truth is that there was never more grumbling over Tubby than there was with Pitino—even as he was winning Championships—over his constant overtures to going to the NBA. Yes, there was grumbling over 10-loss seasons and the lack of Final Fours, but there has always been way more support FOR Tubby than against, even after this season ended. Jim Rome really nailed it, absolving the UK fans in the process http://www.jimrome.com/home.html.
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Now I read something today in the Louisville Courier-Journal that should have been apparent to all: Tubby’s deal with Minnesota was months in the making. As early as December sources told the Minnesota AD, Joel Maturi, that Tubby might be interested in a change. Maturi then spoke with search firm, Dan Parker Associates, who then got Maturi and Tubby’s agent, Ricky Lefft, together. They apparently hammered out a deal over the last SEVEN weeks, and when it was all but signed Maturi called Kentucky AD, Mitch Barnhart for official permission to speak with Tubby, which he did on Thursday.

Please keep in mind there was NO grumbling back in December. Kentucky had just beaten their fiercest rivals, Louisville and Indiana, and there was hope for a great season. But even then Tubby was apparently looking for a new opportunity.

Who knows what goes on behind closed doors, and what meetings Tubby had with AD Barnhart, but it certainly did not help that Barnhart gave less than solid public assurances that he even wanted Tubby to stay by saying he’d review the situation with Tubby at season’s end, and also that changes would be in order. No coach with any self-respect, especially one as accomplished as Tubby Smith could or should be made to suffer that kind of micro-managed meddling over staffing.

On the other hand Tubby did promise to make changes after the lackluster 2006 season, but none were made. So fans were understandably confused, especially when the product on the court didn’t seem to be improving.

So why did he leave? Perhaps Tubby didn’t care for Barnhart’s apparent lack of support or perhaps he really did listen to the call-in shows, although he says he never did.

Or, perhaps he saw the dismal prospects next season and beyond if his two prized recruits (Patrick Patterson and Jai Lucas) spurned his offer. Neither would commit (why??). And word was Morris, the ONLY inside presence, was going pro.

In Minnesota he saw an opportunity to escape from a little-to-win-lot-to-lose situation (where he had just received a $1.5 million bonus for staying ten years) to a place with a great contract, an ELATED fan base and nothing but upside!

No, Kentucky's fans most assuredly did not force Tubby out and he has said as much also adding that he hopes the day comes when Minnesota fans have that kind of expectations.

In the end it works out great for him and I join all Kentucky fans in wishing him Godspeed. We hope that it works out as swimmingly for our wonderful University and fan base as it does for him.

I know it will. We are Kentucky. We’re humans with heartfelt passion, but in the end humans with class as well.



Richard F. Dawahare 3/24/07

The Graceful Generation

Abe Cantees Joe Lane

Cliff Robertson, CIA director to his boss, John Houseman in Three Days of the Condor:

“You served with Colonel Donovan in the OSS didn’t you sir?”

“I sailed the Adriatic with a movie star at the helm. It doesn’t seem like much of a war now but it was. I go even further back than that, 10 years after the Great War as we used to call it before we knew enough to number them.”

“Do you miss that kind of action, sir?”

“No. I miss that kind of clarity.”

That movie dealt with a CIA plot to de-stabilize the Middle East in order to control the oil (sound familiar). Yet Houseman’s observation is an apt description for every war and every CIA covert operation since WWII, all of which are imbued with ambiguity: who’s really the bad guy, what purpose does our involvement serve, etc. etc. Today’s conflicts are certainly not of the black/white variety of yesteryear where the need was urgent and obvious. Further, it is this ambiguity that fuels the divisions we experience over such wars as Vietnam and Iraq, one side viewing them as essential wars of defense, the other as senseless wars of choice.

This all came to mind the other day in the mall as I spoke with my cousin’s father in-law, Abe Cantees, always one of the happiest, nicest people I’ve known, and now a spry 95. Uncle Abe and I spoke about a lot of things but eventually got to his service in WWII. He told me about going to France a few months after the D-Day invasion. One day German tanks were approaching the field when he and his crew took cover in a barn. The Gideons had given bibles to the servicemen on their voyage to England, so he kept that in his breast pocket.

It’s a good thing! The shrapnel from the tank tore through the barn, a piece cutting through his right wrist and another piece piercing the bible, which surely saved his life! Another twist of fate was that he spent 6 months in a hospital and when recovered sufficiently went back to his unit. Problem was there was no unit, just a sergeant who told Uncle Abe they had been shipped off to the Battle of the Bulge and killed in captivity, a fate he surely would have shared had he not been injured. He says there was constant fear and constant prayer.

Overhearing our conversation was yet another WWII veteran who was manning a sunglass kiosk in the mall. Joe Lane was 19 when he signed up January 2, 1942 same as legions of young men in the wake of Pearl Harbor. Mr. Lane became a marine, eventually a staff sergeant, and was sent to the Pacific where he spent four years, from Guadalcanal to Saipan, then Tinian (from whence the Enola Gay flew her historic mission over Hiroshima) and Iwo Jima. He too recalls being scared the whole time, at least during the stretches when they were in the field close to battle.

To Joe and his colleagues there was no doubt about why they were putting their lives on the line: to protect the rest of the world from Japanese who wanted only to destroy. As he said, they were taught to hate Americans and that it was their right to dominate the rest of the world. They had to be stopped. Black/white good vs. evil and they started it.

February 19, 1945 he recalled in detail. His bunker was being shelled hard so he exhorted his companions to get out. The next morning he went back and found the bloodied body of a fellow soldier who had stayed behind.

There are thousands of stories about this war; yet everyday we lose to the heavens those who were there to tell them. The thing about the veterans of WWII whom I have known, dad and uncles included, is that I have rarely met people of more humanity, more compassion, more inner strength, confidence, gentility, good will and good humor than them. It’s as if having gone through that hell and survived there is nothing in this good ol’ life that could ever shake them, that God and heaven are real, and when their time comes they are so, so ready to go.

I thank them and all veterans of every war, conflict or operation, including and especially those serving today in our armed forces in Iraq, Afghanistan and beyond. Today’s wars may lack the clarity of yesterday’s, but not the heroic bravery of our soldiers.

WELCOME HOME, RICK!

Welcome home, Rick! Home to the shining jewel of college basketball.

Of course, it wasn’t always that way. In fact when you arrived it was but a muddy stone buried deep beneath the musty air of our hallowed traditions. Probation had sucked the pride right out leaving us with mere memories of how things once were, and despair that we may never reach those lofty heights again.

But you saw more in us than we did ourselves. You told us to hang on to our tickets, that soon they’d be the hottest in the land. A basketball junkie, you’d lay awake at night listening to Caywood’s cultured cadence in his perfect calls of Kentucky basketball, the signal—alternating from clear to creaky and back as strong as the King James version of the dunk—the same one your kindred spirits all across the Commonwealth were thrilling to.

Perhaps it was this mystical bond that would have your destiny intertwine with ours for Lute turned us down, and others too. But you recognized in this tarnished gem, the essence of our heritage and your coming to lead us re-affirmed our belief in ourselves.

You showed us how to work with all you’ve got—and then some—to attain the peak of perfection. Every little inch of the program bore your fingerprints. From intense conditioning, strategizing, stat keeping and marketing, to confidence building, up tempo Rupp-like run & gun and suffocating defense, you created the most exciting time any fan base anywhere any era could possibly experience.

There were the Bambinos, the Unforgettables, the Untouchables. There were the Armani suits and one very plaid sportcoat. There were big wins, big records, as well as heartbreaking losses, but in the end it was the highest a program could hope to reach, especially following the depths to which we had sunk.

Yet it is easy now, looking down from the summit, to forget the pit from which we’ve climbed, and the man who lifted us out. So please forgive those still bearing the sting of a jilted lover, for it is only wounded pride. Instead listen to the heartfelt thanks of those who appreciate what you’ve done and, in another Kentucky school (which through our taxes we all help support), continue to do for the Commonwealth.

Go Cats, Go Cards, Go EVERYBODY!

Richard F. Dawahare 3/14/07

Innocence Aborted

College was full of fun and frivolity, the time of my life. Between near-daily parties with fraternity brothers, classes that were interesting, even inspiring, it flew by.

I developed the idea of going to law school my sophomore year, partly to continue my time in school and out of the work force, but mostly for idealistic reasons.[1] I was pretty much an apolitical, happy-go-lucky student; and while I discovered deep within my breast a core concern for social justice I remained blissfully under-aware of controversial issues. Such Constitutional crises of the day happened to “other people,” certainly not me.

So it was in my second year Constitutional law class. We started with Marbury v Madison, (established the right of judicial review)[2], continued with such infamous decisions as Dred Scott v Sandford (a slave is not a citizen but property without social, civil or political rights) and Plessy v Ferguson (allowed separate but equal treatment of blacks), to Brown v. Board of Education (over-ruled Plessy and outlawed racial segregation in public education), Miranda v Arizona (right of accused to be informed of rights to counsel and to remain silent) and then an oddly named case, Roe v Wade.

As I started reading the facts of Roe I kept bumping up against a new term, a word I never heard before, “abortion.” I had no idea what the case was about but as I kept reading—“Jane Roe…alleged that she was unmarried and pregnant; that she wished to terminate her pregnancy by an abortion”—its meaning became apparent.

It stunned me. I recall how revolting this was to me. In all my days of wine and cheese parties, dances, ball games, pub crawls and the like, who had time to consider such gross realities. If nothing else this case—indeed my whole law school experience—helped me realize the Pollyanna naiveté of my relatively carefree world.

But while the abortion issue held no relevance for me, there were others, like Roe (Norma McCorvey), for whom this was critically important, so I had to approach the issue with the proverbial open mind of legal objectivity. In this light the Court’s 7-2 ruling that the Constitution guarantees a woman’s right to privacy (under the due process clause of the 14th Amendment) was correct.

But was it morally correct I wondered. In most cases the fetus would become a living being, so aborting it, while not technically the murder of an out-of-the-womb human being, could nonetheless be seen as one.

However, the Court did not address the moral issue of when life begins: "We need not resolve the difficult question of when life begins. When those trained in the respective disciplines of medicne, philosophy, and theology are unable to arrive at any consensus, the judiciary, at this point in the development of man's knowledge, is not in a position to speculate as to the answer."[3]

I didn’t consider the issue again until years later, when the issue once again took center stage during Reagan’s second term. I recall struggling over whether it was an acceptable practice in the eyes of God vs whether we, as a society should condone it, that is, whether we should we accept the Roe ruling or discard it as many were/still are trying to do. I prayed about it and thought about it.

After months of this I met a customer in our Louisville store, an elderly gentleman who I learned was a minister. I don’t recall the denomination but it was one of the mainline churches. I sensed he could offer some direction on the abortion issue for me so I asked him what he thought—was it a sin? Was it acceptable or not?

His answer was not at all what I expected: “Abortion,” he said, “was not a murder for there is no human life until God breathes the breath of life into it. It’s right there in Genesis 2:7. If a woman chooses to do this it is her business. It is not a sin in the eyes of God.”

I can’t say that he answered the issue once and for all for me, as I still am searching for the ultimate truth. But I did feel a sense of heavenly sent direction that brought this gentleman to me for the purpose of giving me more clarity on an issue with which I was struggling to come to terms.

Today, I continue to seek the ultimate truth. By putting myself in the mind of those who believe that life begins at conception and who really, truly believe that a fertilized egg is a human, I can understand why they are so fervent to prevent any more abortions. Conversely, I see that those who believe in a woman’s right to choose do not equate the embryo with an out-of-the-womb human who has had the “breath of life” breathed into it.

Perhaps if we all put ourselves in the other’s shoes and saw life from that opposing viewpoint we would have a tad more compassion. And while this may not change our opinion, it just may save us from going to war about it.

Richard F. Dawahare 3/6/07

[1] Though I had not yet heard of him, I suppose Atticus Finch would be the gold standard for such urgings, and indeed he became that ideal upon my seeing Gregory Peck portray him in To Kill A Mockingbird at the student center theater during a break from studying for my last set of law finals.

[2] Were I ever to consider a political office at the federal level one objective I might have would be the radical amendment of mandatory ARBITRATION, especially in such boiler plate contracts as those with brokerage houses, money managers and the like. Congress has wrongly denied consumers access to the courts by allowing these mandated arbitrations in lieu of rightful access to the courts. Consumers have no real choice but to sign away their Constitutionally guaranteed rights. This must end.


[3] The Court only addressed the question of when one’s right to have an abortion begins. The decision established a system of trimesters that attempted to balance the state's legitimate interests against the abortion right. The Court ruled that the state cannot restrict a woman's right to an abortion during the first trimester, the state can regulate the abortion procedure during the second trimester "in ways that are reasonably related to maternal health", and the state can choose to restrict or proscribe abortion as it sees fit during the third trimester when the fetus is viable ("except where it is necessary, in appropriate medical judgment, for the preservation of the life or health of the mother").